Saturday, 19 January 2013

THE ADVENTURES OF LARA : LISTEN (via @wickedstepmami )

I was so scared; I woke up that day with a bad feeling. I couldn't place a finger on it, I went to school and returned around 12pm but I still couldn't explain the feeling. Recently, robbery incidents have been rampant in these parts; people were scared to walk at night and even during the day. The robberies were so common that people now joked about being robbed. To me it wasn't funny at all.
At about 7pm, I went upstairs to the roof to receive some fresh air, I was still moody and confused. Mark saw me and asked if I was ok, I couldn't explain how I felt so I said I was fine and went downstairs. I made it clear to my brother that I wasn't comfortable sleeping in the hostel that night, he kept saying I was being unnecessarily scared. I made him call someone to lock the door from the front to make it seem as if we were not around, I kept hoping the feeling I had would not come to pass.
I started feeling sleepy so I lay down on the bed, and that was when we heard it, a loud bang on the hostel gate. I knew it within me that my greatest fear was taking place, robbers had overtaken our hostel. I had fever and I was cold at the same time, I could hear my brother's heartbeat. The only thing I could think about was what would have happened if I was in my own room alone. The robbers kept pointing their torch at our door, they were certain that we didn't go out that day. They comfortably robbed a two storey hostel for a period of one hour until they ran out after they heard a siren.
The guy who locked us in came and opened the door for us, and then the questions began, we were the only ones with phones in the hostel. People even thought we knew of the robbery or planned it with them. We found out that my room was the room the robbers entered from; they broke my bathroom protector and entered my room. I was overcome by tears, I couldn't imagine what would have happened if I was in that room.
The next day, I went out of the house to look for a new hostel, I walked for miles until I entered a street occupied by mostly family homes and not student hostels. I found it, a hostel named LARA, it was a 2 storey building with about 67 rooms, and I fell in love with it immediately and booked a room upstairs.
Here is where the adventures began for me, join me as I unveil the following series of the adventures of Lara. I promise you will enjoy it. Don't forget to share.



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Monday, 14 January 2013

PHOTOS: REAL LIFE DOPPLEGANGERS OF CARTOON CHARACTERS (via @wickedstepmami )

A doppleganger is a look alike of a person as you all know. Here are some dopplegangers of popular cartoon characters.
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Saturday, 12 January 2013

SIDE EFFECTS OF TATTOOS (via @wickedstepmami)

Did u know that tattoos could have the following effects on your skin;
INFECTIONS such as HIV and hepatitis related to reused needles.

ALLERGIC reactions to temporary and permanent tattoo inks.

SCARRING may occur with getting a tattoo, or tattoo removal.

GRANULOMAS in the form of large or small bumps that form to encapsulate foreign substances, such as tattoo ink particles.

MRI studies may cause burning and swelling of tattoos due to metal components in tattoo inks.

SOME KNOWN INGREDIENTS OF TATTOO INKS:

HEAVY METALS

Aluminum

Barium

Cadmium

Chromium

Cobalt

Copper

Iron

Lead

Mercury

Nickel

Titanium

Zinc

METAL OXIDES

Ferrocyanide

Ferricyanide

ORGANIC CHEMICALS

Azo chemicals

Naptha derivative chemicals

Carbon

Polycyclic compounds

OTHER COMPOUNDS

Antimony

Arsenic

Beryllium

Calcium

Lithium

Phosphorus

Selenium

Silica

Sulfur

Titanium dioxide

Polymethylmethacrylate (PMMA)

 Tattoos also cause various types of cancer:
Malignant melanoma

Squamous cell carcinoma

Basal cell carcinoma


BEHAVIORAL FACTORS

Correlation of other risk taking behaviors


SKIN DISEASES

Psoriasis

Photosensitization

Photogenotoxicity

Phototoxicity
There is no such thing as a safe tattoo.  There are a reasonable number of studies and case reports as to the adverse health effects of tattoos.  The lack of extensive definitive studies proving adverse effects is just that, a lack of studies.  It is not proof that tattoo inks are safe. 
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Thursday, 10 January 2013

Twitter tips (via @wickedstepmami)

Twitter has taken over facebook as it stands. S o many organisations now use twitter to advertise their goods and services, musicians as well connect with their fans on twitter. Some have also made cool money from twitter, our very own @TWEETORACLE was reported to have made approximately 2.6 million Naira in 2012.
Using twitter is not as complicated as it seems. A person just needs to understand the terms used therein. The word 'oomf' means 'one of my followers'. Follow is depicted by 'ff'. A way to gain followers on twitter is to follow the right people and always ask for a follow back politely. Participate in trends, show creativity, be interesting and people will follow you. Learn to quote properly from the top of the tweet, do not insult or cyberbully anyone because your account could be suspended for such acts.
Always participate in #followfriday and follow people, try to even out the number of your following and the number of your followers. Here is a list of popular tweeps you should follow; @sirfizz @TWEETORACLE @proudekitigirl @wickedstepmami @dollycent @sir_moby @sir_kenayo @le_tiny @trends_ng @onorable1 @am_delly @pinksouija

you Should also follow @eyeofnaija for pictures all over the country.
Do you have any Questions?
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POLL: What do you love about Nigerians.(via @wickedstepmami )

Personally, I believe Nigerians are strong people who can survive no matter the condition. Every dark cloud is transformed into hilarious jokes. They stand out in Africa as a whole and in the rest of the world. This is what a few people love about nigerians. What do you think?
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Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Is Lesbianism now a part of our society (via @wickedstepmami)

Today I came across a picture of two girls kissing. Last year, a law was passed which made such acts punishable by imprisonment. Regardless of this sanction,such acts are still prevalent in parts of the country. What is your view on the matter?
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Is Wizkid in for a fight? (Via @wickedstepmami)

I always thought wizzy was calm and collected So whatever made him loose it on twitter must have really hurt his feelings.he tweeted a few minutes ago;
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What is wrong with this picture (via @wickedstepmami)

What is wrong with this picture
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POLL:Can you give your kidney to your boyfriend or girlfriend?

POLL: can you give your kidney to your boyfriend/girlfriend
Hello everyone, for some time now, I have been the only one expressing my view on matters. Today I decided to take a different direction. I decided to ask the public in general by means of twitter to know their views on certain matters and allow them to be heard. I asked if they could give out their kidney to their lover [boyfriend or girlfriend] and these were the responses I got.
Lol rat poison. Ok moving on, others had this to say


Only this young lady @honeyybelle agreed to dispense of one of her kidneys for her boyfriend. Send your views as well and don't forget to share.

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Tuesday, 8 January 2013

TATOO OF LIFE

Tattoo of life: the story of Bidemi
We thought we had seen the last of crazy things done for love. Only last year, a young lady drank hypo and lacasera because her boyfriend left her today it is a young man who tattooed his girlfriend's name to his hand and uploaded the picture on twitter. He was attacked by so many people but he kept saying that bidemi was his wife and they were never going to break up. Come to think of it, can you do such for the one you love? Or will you search for another 'bidemi' to dedicate the tattoo to?

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Virginity;pride or lack of opportunity

Virginity; pride or lack of opportunity
A few days ago on twitter, the topic of virginity was discussed. So many people were interested in knowing how to determine a virgin, considering how rare it is to find girls who are still virgins. The only way to determine a virgin is the presence of the hymen. The hymen is a thin membrane that covers the opening of the girls' vagina and usually tears upon the first intercourse. Sexual intercourse is not the only activity that can tear the hymen, strenuous activities such as horse riding or gymnastics or even masturbation may also cause the hymen to rupture. I also read a book which explained the virginity test by looking at the vagina. By looking at the vagina of a virgin, you will notice that the vagina is oval in shape; its edges are not rough but smooth. Another book suggested that a doctor may determine this by inserting two fingers in the vagina.
People are of the idea that there are no virgins in Nigeria, and if there are, it's because they lacked the opportunity to engage in such activities. Back in the days, virginity was criteria to marriage, the family of the couple would wait outside the room of the bride and groom to inspect the bed sheet to ensure that the bride is a virgin. If she fails this test, she will be chased from her new home and will live in shame for the rest of her life. Today the topic of virginity is rather obsolete because our moral standards have dropped.
The matter of alum also came up that day. Alum is being used by ladies today to feign virginity so as to deceive their partner. A girl I knew, a very badt girl met a guy who wanted to marry a virgin, and as a sharp babe, she arranged alum to deceive him. He fell and married her -_-.
I personally believe that virginity is a thing of pride. If as a lady, you can restrain yourself from participating in such activities, then you must be a very principled person. The advantages of keeping your virginity are numerous. First of all, you have a clear conscience; you won't be scared at the end of the month or of venereal diseases. Secondly, it accords you respect from your partner and trust as well.
From my point of view, no man deserves your body until he pays your bride price, so be wise, avoid the stress, patience never killed anyone. If you are still a virgin, my advice to you is to keep it until you are truly ready, and if you are not, respect your body.


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Friday, 28 December 2012

2012
The year we all anticipated, the year we hoped for change, it has gone and we begin a new era, a new year.
The year 2012 brought joy to some and sorrow to others, we lost our loved ones in death, lost our friends because of our jealousy and insecurity, lost our humanity by killing our fellow humans like animals, lost our roads and produce to violent storms, we lost a part of our economy.
The year began with the fuel subsidy strike all over the country, our economy was practically on pause, and so was education. So many lives were lost due to the riots, prices of commodities skyrocketed making life harder for the common man. Transportation also became an issue. On the lighter side, Nigerians always find ways to amuse themselves even in the midst of a disaster. They made funny pictures and jokes.
Churches were rendered unsafe by Boko haram extremists who bombed several churches, so many lives were lost. While we were getting over these tragedies came another, Dana air plane crashed and fell over some buildings in Lagos state killing a large number of people.
Several fatal road accidents took place. As a matter of fact, I personally lost a close friend in a fatal accident, so many videos circulated containing the aftermath of some of these accidents, I cried after watching these videos.
Another disaster that hit us is the release of two singles by a musician whom I shall not name but I think you know who he or she is (poko). The singles destroyed so many phone speakers, ear drums; the punishment of listening to the song changed some delinquent children for the better . Let's take a minute of silence for these phones that were destroyed.
A new style of dancing was added to our culture courtesy of p square called alingo, I can't do the dance it but I heard energy is needed to do so, we also heard of gangnam style.
The country was shaken by yet another tragedy, 4 young men were gruesomely murdered in broad daylight, this occurred only a few months after students were killed in Mubi by unknown men.
Rain storms came late in the year and displaced so many people from their homes, even our roads were rendered useless b the storms. In several states, babies were found in lakes and creeks dead, when some women will give their lives to experience motherhood.
Throughout the year we lost something and gained something as well but after all that has been said, if you're reading this post, you should be grateful that you are alive to see the end of the year, for so many have fallen along the way, instead of complaining about what we didn't achieve, we should be grateful that we have tomorrow to try again, some people never got this chance. We should be grateful for the friends we have, for the family who support us, for the air we breathe.
I wish to thank you for reading my posts in the past months and I pray God grants you long life and prosperity and most importantly, peace of mind. GOD BLESS YOU………….



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Friday, 7 December 2012

LE WAIST

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess who called IVONNE. She came from a kingdom called GHANIA. She was loved and respected by all her subjects and even strangers loved her as well. ivonne travelled to the kingdom next to hers named NIGELIA and that was where she met a young prince called IYANA, they immediately fell for each other and planned their happily ever after ……..until a queen from the land of Nigelia came to hear about their love.
Queen TUTU was an arrogant queen who didn't care about the suffering she inflicted on her people, whenever her subjects complained about her outrageous taxes, she would reply "the road to succezz is a long one, my city must be the best among the restzz" *holds laff*. She was very lonely because she was too proud to pick a man from her kingdom, her advisers always brought young men for her to choose from, but she would often find fault in most of them "hezz not sexyzz #poko". The advisers planned to take her out of the kingdom and hoped she would meet a man to help her rule the kingdom.
She was invited to a ball in a nearby city, so she prepared and took a few of her advisers. She went to the ball in a short gown which was extremely revealing, as she was fair in complexion, all her royal markings (tattoos) were exposed. She walked into the ball room shining her eyeballs, and that was when she saw him. Prince iyana, he wore a tight shirt which revealed his body build and a tight trouser as well, she was already seeing herself with this unknown hunk. And out of nowhere, a woman holds this young man and they move together into the ball room. The queen was furious; she quickly called her aides to inquire about this young lady.
She was unsettled and kept staring at the couple, prince iyana took his beautiful princess and headed for the dance floor where he sang to her his true intentions "your waist, your waist, all I want is your waist" she smiled. At this point, the queen told her aides "I wantzz hizz waistzz, I must have it" they assured her that they will get his waist for her. The prince was pressed and left his princess for a few minutes to relieve himself. When he entered the men's room, he saw the queen, staring at him with wide eyes. 'HI" she said to him as she believed she shouldn't be shy to say hi*holds laff* "I like you, you know that right" the prince replied "am sorry, but i LOVE TRULY and presently I love princess ivonne, I can't hurt her " the queen replied "justzz tell her ITZ OVA as I am CRAZICALLY FIT' to be your queen' she came closer to him and put his hand on her waist and whispered in his ears "don't you wantzz this waist? It's all yours"
The prince was sweating heavily, his heartbeat went up and down like KUKERE, he couldn't hold it in anymore, he gave her a long French/ Chinese kiss, before he could run any more shows, the door opened and they quickly separated and went their separate ways. On getting back to his princess (after over 30 mins) she looked at him in disappointment and asked where he went, he said he took a stroll to get fresh air. She saw the red lipstick on his lips (as queen tutu was famous for using blood red lipstick) and was hurt deep down; her fairy tale was coming to an end. She didn't want to believe her prince was cheating on her; she looked around the ball room and the only person with thick red lipstick was queen tutu.
I think you already know how the story ends :D. the prince left his princess for the queen, sad though, but it teaches us so many things, if it's meant to be, it will be, you don't have to push it, everybody's prince will come, you just have to b e patient.
This story bears no resemblance to any person living or dead, it is purely fiction. If you link it to any person, you do so at your own risk :D. Hope you enjoyed the story, have a lovely weekend #POKO

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Thursday, 6 December 2012

WIFE MATERIAL, 40 YARDS

         Today, we discuss the shortage of wife materials in the country, this is indeed an epidemic. First, let’s discuss the qualities of a wife material. I came about these qualities by examining my mother and four other wives, first of all (go down low) a wife material must be a patient woman, she patiently waits by her husband in all situations, thus helping to build him up, secondly, a wife material is understanding and must communicate well to avoid misunderstandings even if we know they are inevitable. A wife material must also be independent, in the sense that she can cater for the family in the absence of the man, she shouldn’t have to depend on him for every little thing, and she finds ways to support her home.
        I just gave you the emotional aspects of the qualities of a wife material; now let’s examine the physical capabilities. A wife material must be an excellent cook. As the old saying goes; ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’. I totally agree with this. A wife material learns different dishes and perfects them so as to keep her man interested. 
       A wife material must also know how to keep her home neat and tidy. Being a pig is not an option -_-. As they say ‘cleanness is next to Godliness”. Keeping the home tidy also prevents outbreak of diseases.
     A wife material must be an ambassador of peace and balance. An ambassador of peace in a way that, she should not incite her man to fight but calm him down and also balance because she must allow him to have his normal routine with his friends and family balanced with his marriage or relationship. No wife material will separate you with your family and friends; instead she helps seal the bond.
    Over the years, ladies have believed that sex bonds the relationship, and that when you always have sex with the man, he will never leave you. But my dear ladies, you are wrong. Sex bonds the relationship yes, but it does not fix any problems therein. As they say ‘sex will not make him love you and a baby won’t make him stay’ so be smart and put in the right effort, no man has a right to your body until he pays your bride price, so don’t turn into a sex slave for someone and miss out on finding your divine husband.
     Nobody is born as a wife material. So anybody can be a wife material. You just have to calm down, it’s not too late to learn how to act, cook , speak, and I assure you, you will attract the type of men you desire, I mean lets be serious, no responsible man will want to spend the rest of his life with a lobatian, who smokes, drinks more than a whale, can’t cook, cant behave in public, nags, complains, wastes money, tattooed from head to toe and is a perpetual liar -_-
      Ladies, we need to step up our game, because we will raise the next generation, let’s not mess them up. Have a lovely day.

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

ARSENAL OH ARSE_ENAL

 When i was a fan of Arsenal F.C, dont scream okay i still love arsenal okay...Infact i call them the team after my heart, well they are the team after my mouth now...But if not for a few reasons after the sale of Van persie & song...they'd be the team after my ass... Yeah i would'nt be beefing those other fans dat call us Ass-anal...thanks to Wenger 4 turning my club into a religion... You know why? he messed with the imposible.(go unbeaten) now the imposible is messing with him!!!​!. His ideas ran into favouritism & wack tactics after his unbeaten season that tommorow he would'nt mind allowing van persie's 7 year old son play. At least he got van persie blood, thats whats called Faith... Like seriously? what is he? a pastor? Or why did he sign him?(maybe he thought it would make van persie stay)
If you believe I'm wrong check this out... Since that season every single player wenger has bought is like an ex player he has lost! Not to retirement but transfer...EVERY TIME he looks at Diaby he says to himself "i saw veira in this guy at least they are both from france". when we had van persie he was seeing a faster,smarter and maybe more effective Denis Bergkamp...(at least Bergkamp stayed till the end),he even calls theo walcott the second thierry henry. The funny thing here is that not only did he see them this way, he made us see them the way he does... Yea thats what Ars-ene has been doing...or maybe you too can help me ask another fan who vermaelen,gibbs,santos,giroud,podolski, etc play like and I bet you, he/she will not give it a second thought. And funny enough we pray they turn out either like 'them or better & hope they fix their eyes on the trophy...and that my people is faith. are we a club or bunch of heavenly race sprinting christians??. And now search facebook you'll find the true faithfuls... We aren't arsenal F.C WE ARE ARSENAL H.F (ARSENAL HAVE FAITH) some arsenal fans have so much faith they should have bin listed in Paul's faith account of Hebrews 13... (Forgive my bluntness) those who keep that poster "in arsene we trust" arent paid but have been made to believe that economic human... Is arsenal where to pratice your economic career? Assuming he managed mancity he'll give the sheiks back all the money mancity has spent during the period of mancini in a single year...(cant really say about the trophies) and in 5 years he would have his own green card._Man city should try it and they might just get 5 trophies in 3 season before the real arsene kicks in. Now most arsenal fans believe wenger more than the second coming of christ...IN THE LAST SEVEN YEARS, WINNING A TROPHY HAS BEEN HARDER THAN MANKIND TRYING TO PROVE THE EXISTENCE OF ALIENS.Its a good thing that Wenger is begining to lose the members of his church. Well, our neighbors have a totally different script quite opposite to ours, am coming up with it...
Please note; I'm not an arsenal fan(faithful) - I'm with the winning team(fcb) вυt these are the words of my "live soft die hard" arsenal faithful cousin....
Pls note also that Iђΐs is a write up of my assistant, @mr_yubi, I know nothing about football, but I hope u enjoyed the article, #okbye

Friday, 30 November 2012

LE PANT: CHRONICLES OF A LOBATIAN 2

                          
      Today, I bring you the 2nd part of the chronicles of a lobatian. I barely survived the first day of our cohabitation, but I hoped for a better future, I hoped things would get better from that day; I took up all activities in the kitchen to ensure that history doesn’t repeat itself. But I was so wrong (⌣́_⌣̀) .
     I got up by 5am that morning to find Mimi polishing her nails, like seriously, so early in the morning after silently killing me with farts lined with cyanide the previous night. I already killed her in my head twice, but she was still alive. I got ready for school and as I called out to her so we could go together, lo and behold, she came out from the room looking like someone who was raped in a crayon factory. She drew a long line on her eye brows which made her look like a typical Benin market woman. She used 4 different eye shadows and massacred the whole thing by using a reddish colored powder probably Mary Fay. Her weave was practically begging for deliverance from a comb. I didn’t want to be rude so I didn’t say a word about the dressing.
     I left school around 2pm to get a few things from the market and on my way back I met an old friend. I won’t really say he’s a friend, his name is Andy, we were very close at a particular time and then feelings came in and before we could acknowledge them he went off to serve, so we lost contact for a while. The meeting was magical, we connected once more and I actually hoped we could give it another try. He took my number and we parted ways. I got home and jumped on my bed in joy and my phone rang ┐('⌣'┐) (┌'⌣')┌. ƪ(˘⌣˘)┐┌(˘⌣˘)ʃ , it was him, he wanted to take me out for dinner so we could catch up, but being the wife material that I am (:p lmfao don’t hate) I asked him to come over for a home cooked meal. He loved the idea, but I didn’t realize what I had done.
        I swept the room thoroughly as I cooked owe wiri or yellow soup with chicken and yam for him, I made sure the room was in perfect condition. He called me and asked for direction to the room, I went out and took a bike to the junction so I could direct him down, I met him with ease and we drove back to the room. I noticed the door was open, but I still prayed that it wasn’t what I was thinking (۳º̩̩́_º̩̩̀)۳ . We entered the room and I almost wet my pants, there was tissue on the ground, nylon bags, and clothes (•̩̩̩̩͡_•̩̩̩̩͡) . The room I spent hours working on was ruined. I apologized and he understood, she quickly excused herself from the room and left. I cleared up the room quickly and served the food.
         He finished the food and complemented me, he put on music and asked me to dance, I was shy, but I didn’t care. I got up to dance and that was when I saw it (۳º̩̩́_º̩̩̀)۳ , LE PANT (the pata) that she pulled before going out, it was on the table, how could I have missed it when I cleared her mess up. I just prayed to GOD to save me from the humiliation ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ ) . I wanted to move quickly and pick it, but then I remembered the toxic contamination and nuclear war the pant had gone through the previous night. I just kept on dancing, trying to remove his attention from the table and then he quickly rested on the table and I gasped. He asked me why I gasped and I could watch his expression change as he asked ‘what’s this I’m touching?’ . I just sat on the floor filled with shame, I felt like killing her.
         He got a call and had to leave but I made sure I explained everything to him and he told me he noticed her kind of person beforehand. I made sure he used dettol to wash his hands thoroughly. I sat outside awaiting her arrival to pour out my anger on her and she sent me a text that’s she’s gone to her boyfriend’s house. I was just weak -_- let me stop here for now, don’t forget to share. Have a beautiful day and for those of you concerned about the pant, I picked it with a stick and burnt it with trash -__-
          

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

THE CHRONICLES OF A LOBATIAN

        Today, I bring you the first part of the chronicles of a lobatian. Lobatian is simply a slang for synthetic or fake if u may. I bring you the chronicles of a lobatian I knew personally; her name for the purpose of this story is Mimi.
       I met her for the first time a few years ago in school; she was a friend of my friend josh. I always viewed her as a weirdo, she barely came to school, and when she managed to come, she comes into the faculty looking like someone who was attacked by evil birds. I knew she was above 25 years but what I did not know was that I was going to have an encounter with her in the near future.
       I bumped into her and josh discussing about a cab and I joined in, she kept emphasizing on the fact that she lived in g.r.a with her boyfriend and took a cab everyday to school which would normally cost more than a thousand naira. I’m not a fan of living with a man but she’s an adult and can make decisions for herself. After that encounter, she was extremely nice to me so I was nice to her as well. In a week, she came to school with bruises on her face; turns out her boyfriend beat her. I felt sorry for her, I even advised her to leave him and she agreed.
       After 2 weeks, she called me and pleaded with me to accommodate her for just two weeks until she finds a house to rent, as a fool that I was I said yes, (but if I dint say yes, how else will I bring you this story :D ). She moved into my self contain with her bags and a few belongings and that is where it all started.
        That evening she offered to cook for me, I was relieved because I was so tired that day. I stood by her side to help her out with the cooking. She put the rice in the pot and poured water, palm oil, put maggi, pepper, salt, thyme, and the whole smoked fish without washing it or removing the head. I almost cried because she was cooking at least 5 cups of rice. Her phone rang and she answered, the voice asked her what she was doing and she said she was cooking for me, I could hear the dude’s response “pls don’t kill her oh”. I started praying to God for forgiveness of my sins ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ ) , I didn’t want to die like this. God, in his infinite mercy saved me and sent my friend to come to my room and I escaped from the room and returned late that night. My poor neighbor who partook of the meal called me to her room, I could see she was in pains; her eyes were red and swollen. When she told me that she ate the food, I couldn’t help it I started laughing to the extent that she got angry. Then I stopped and pleaded with her to take yellow and red capsules.
    I sincerely believed my predicaments were over, (⌣́_⌣̀) but I was wrong. I went back to my room by 11pm and found her asleep. The mistake I made was sleeping on the wrong side of the bed, my face was facing her leg. At approximately 1 am , I found myself suffocating, I couldn’t breathe, I was choking but I was also too lazy to get up and check, I couldn’t bear it anymore so I woke up. the horror I faced that night cannot be overemphasized (۳º̩̩́_º̩̩̀)۳ . The windows were locked and the room smelt like burnt rubber mixed with old fish and beans. I was practically in tears; I rushed to open the window to save my life, I lay down on the rug imagining what this girl ate that made her fart toxic and violent farts, the rice was my first guess,she was obviously not aware of the damage she was causing, in a short while I slept off.
       I woke up at 5 am the next morning, I was still in shock. And there she was, painting her nails, so early in the morning (۳º̩̩́_º̩̩̀)۳.
     Let me stop here for today, don’t forget to share my story. Have a good day
  (•͡.̮ ~͡ )      

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

A TRUE STORY

                  ONE DARK NIGHT
It was a full house, my younger sister and her two kids were visiting, she came visiting so as to enable her stop breastfeeding her daughter who was about a year old. It was just like any other visit, her son, junior and my son mike were best of friends, even though mike was two years older than junior.
Did I mention that I didn’t give birth to mike? Yes I didn’t. I’ve been married for over ten years and I have no child of my own. When my younger brother had a child, I decided to take the child as my own because his parents couldn’t cater for him.
I took care of mike more than I would my own flesh and blood, he filled the void in my heart. Mike is now four years old, and I am about to learn a valuable life lesson.
Mike had been playing outside all day and my sister was unaware of this, I was at the shop as usual and wouldn’t be back till 9pm. Mike came home crying and bleeding from one leg and when my sister asked him what happened to him, he was reluctant to say, she even beat him. Mike finally told her that he was bitten by a dog. Immediately, she sprung into action and took him to the nearest chemist where the wound was treated. On getting home from the chemist, he giggled and said ‘aunty it was not dog that bit me, an iron cut me near the dumpster’ my sister hit him on the head and told him not to lie anymore, she assumed the worst was over, but she was wrong,
I got home at 10pm, I was so tired that I didn’t give my baby boy any attention. He was not playing as usual but I didn’t notice because everybody was admiring my sister’s baby as she spoke her first words. At about 2am, mike was screaming from his room. I sent my sister to check on him, he told her that his bones were stiff and couldn’t explain how he was feeling. She screamed at him to go to bed and left him alone. At this point, I was becoming worried, I woke up very early and took him to mama iyase, who was a traditional healer to massage him. He was with her for a few hours before I got a call to come to the central hospital. I got into the pediatric ward and searched for my son, I saw him and words cannot explain how I felt at that very moment. My baby was stiff and couldn’t move or talk, he was in so much pain, he looked at me but he couldn’t reach out to me. A part of me died at that very moment, I grabbed the doctor and asked what was wrong with my son and he told me that my son had tetanus, he had been infected through his wound. ‘please save my son doctor , I will give you my life savings, everything I own please save him. I was gradually loosing sanity at this point, I wrote a check for five hundred thousand naira to buy drugs from Lagos and transport it to Port Harcourt by air. After all the drugs were administered, there was no progress. Junior was brought to the hospital by his mother because he kept asking for mike. He tapped mike and said ‘mike, let’s go home and play ‘ mike could see him but he could not reply. Junior got down from the bed and starting singing a song used mostly in burials. His mother slapped him and asked him to stop, assuring him that his friend will be ok, junior kept singing.
I was by his side all night, praying to God to take me instead of mike. I could hardly breathe; tears flowed freely down my eyes. Finally he called out to me ‘mummy, I want to go home’ he was barely audible; I held his hand and told him he will be ok. My baby boy stopped breathing, my whole world shattered before my eyes. My sister ran in and burst into tears. I was inconsolable, if tears could bring my baby back, he would be here today, I know this because I cried.
I found out that mike was not immunized as a baby, and I was careless as well because I did not take steps to inquire about it. I locked up my shop for 6 months because I wasn’t ready to let go of the fact that he was gone, whenever my sister calls, her son junior will always ask ‘where is mike?. I finally put myself together and continued with my life but mike will always be in my heart.
                                                                                           In loving memory of my little friend who passed away on the 1st day of January 2012


Thursday, 15 November 2012

Love without communication -_-

 It was their 50th wedding anniversary. They had called family and friends to celebrate with them, they looked at each others face still filled with love and admiration one for the other as they renewed a vow that had practically became their lifestyle.
At night after the party, John came out of the kitchen with the normal routine he has been doing for the past 50 years, serve his wife tea and bread before bed. As he dropped the tea next to Kate, she burst into tears and could hardly speak of what made her cry. After minutes of consolation she Finally spoke looking into Johns eyes. "for the past 50 years you have consistently served me tea with the part of bread that I hate so much but I ate it all through 50 years without complaints because I love you, wouldn't you have made a change today?". John could not hold back the hot tears that rolled down his cheek, after crying he spoke."for the past 50 years I had served you with my favorite part of a bread and deprived my self of it because I love you". They both cried their hearts out as they discovered that for the past 50 years they have been living as two strangers...
Moral: Although LOVE is a binding force for any relationship, solid communication is the rock to which it blossoms. Before u say YES to his advances ask yourself this "CAN I TALK TO HIM LIKE MY FRIEND?"

Monday, 12 November 2012

IN MEMORY OF ALUU4

Where did our human emotions go?

        In recent times, we have witnessed the gruesome murder of so many Nigerians all in the name of jungle justice. In Port Harcourt, a few weeks ago, four young men named ugonna, Lloyd, chiadika and tekena, all students of the University of Port Harcourt were brutally murdered in broad daylight by a group of people who took it upon themselves to carry out judgment on the innocent boys.

         I watched the video of the murder and I wept for those boys and their families, and then I asked myself, where did our human emotions go? I can barely kill a rat, let alone club another human to death. 

         The Latin maxim audi alterem paterm translates ‘no man shall be condemned unheard’. We live in a society governed by law, the law imposes sanctions for different crimes and the police have the duty to incarcerate and then the court can give the appropriate sentence. We should be educated enough to allow the criminal justice system play their part, and we should not take the law into our own hands because where there is no law, there is chaos.

        This right is also protected by the constitution of the federal republic of Nigeria; a man is innocent until proven guilty. The United Nations declaration on human rights also provides to this effect. This is the year 2012 for crying out loud, we should be civilized.

        After peaceful protests in Port Harcourt, this horrible act repeated itself again in Lagos and warri. Some people were lynched for minor crimes; this just goes to show that jungle justice has become a part of our system. I believe that the only way we can be rid of it in our society is if there is a law banning such acts along with serious sanctions. This may go a long way to deter anyone who intends to take the law into his or her hands.

       In the words of Mr. incredible ‘feels like I stood there watching

                 The pain the brutal torture

   And added my silence to the violent screams

              Of; burn and torch em. How do you earn misfortune?

              Or does it come unbidden? If life’s a painted portrait,

              Who puts the dark colors in them? If there’s a GOD in heaven

          Surely he’s weeping now. As all the blood is shedding

         And all his people drown. GOD help us all 

         Rest in peace chidi, rest in peace Lloyd

       Rest in peace tekena, rest in peace ugonna